On a Very Happy Mother's Day and Our Upcoming Offerings

On a Very Happy Mother's Day and Our Upcoming Offerings

I spoke of my Mom Louise’s passing in the former post and shared this photo on my social media. I’m not a huge social media fan, as my own consists of merely a personal Facebook page and a Higher Haven Facebook page, finding it to be a sort of external verification for much of the world and its people’s internal uncertainty. I think we have a very quiet to virtually non-existent Instagram page, as when Instagram surged I had so much on my plate it seemed like just another distraction. I suppose I’m good for my 23 Likes. All that said, I did find it comforting to receive some notes from old friends, old inside Lou Lou jokes, and other condolences. I’m also happy to report that where I anticipated a huge slump on Mother’s Day, we instead encountered a lot of sweet Moms and hugs by proxy. So thanks to everyone who said, ”Do you need to hug my Mom?” and “She’s in a better place, honey,” which is true.

Now all that remains are sweet memories of Louise, like the pic above, taken when she visited me living in San Francisco in 2009. I was utterly obsessed with King Tutankhamen, the boy king when I, too, was a boy, and King Tut mania first swept across the United States, during his first visit from 1976 to 1979. “Now, when I die, don't think I'm a nut, don't want no fancy funeral, just one like ole king Tut. (king Tut), he coulda won a Grammy, (funky Tut) buried in his jammies,” We had a lot of fun catching the exhibit 30 years later at the de Young Museum, clowning in the gift shop. When the picture above was taken, I whispered to my Mom,, “Do NOT smile Lou, you are Ramses II,” and I think she pulled it off. I’m also feeling a lot better in general and so happy to be running Ceremony this weekend, the first with Louise Teresa as one of my ancestors, now residing on the other side.

We still have a few open spots and won’t be able to offer the public another opportunity for this particular retreat until July, as the June Way of the Contrary Weekend has been filled by a private Men’s Group. Private group Ceremonies — that’s an option that groups of eight to ten men and women should consider. We’ll also be offering our signature Meditation + Mindfulness 101 class on the Saturday of Father’s Day weekend, and any son who registers can bring their Dad as our guest, while a registered Dad can bring their sons. And we just received such tremendous reports from the participants in our Spring NMSR, that we look forward to sharing, and will offer our Summer Noble Silence Meditation Retreat weekend July 26th through the 28th. The Yoga + Meditation weekend has shifted to the last weekend in June, and registration will open soon.

We’ll close with Dinese’s take on her April visit, confirming that we’re one of the world’s premier places for personal transformation, and as always, look forward to seeing you soon. "I am so happy that I chose The Higher Haven in my quest to take part in an authentic, healing, indigenous Ceremony. Other offerings I researched throughout the United States and even internationally seemed detached and almost dispassionate. After discovering their website, talking with Paul and making travel plans, I just knew I was making the right choice. Paul's knowledge, passion, and genuine approach to helping and healing others was exactly what I was looking for. I feel loved, I know I am not alone, and I continue to feel a renewed sense of peace and clarity. Aho! Matakuye O'yasin (we are all related)!”

On Our Winter Whereabouts and Blossoming Spring Retreat Season

On Our Winter Whereabouts and Blossoming Spring Retreat Season

We’re back, evinced by our new Wetlands Wooded Practice Platform, one of several recently wrapped Winter projects. We’re considering starting a deep woods, sweatlodge-rock-laden Labyrinth this spring. These cool new additions to The Higher Haven’s ever-expanding offerings lie on some of the prettiest — and previously inaccessible — parts of our property. You can see the deck lines the banks of what we like to call the little Mekong, the crystal clear creek that runs from the backwoods through the wetlands to the banks of the Black River, here bending around our bamboo spirit house from the faraway land of Kampuchea, the ancient kingdom behind modern-day Cambodia. While we’re happy to return from our Winter Break with a little art and good energy, inspired by time spent traveling in Southeast Asia, our notable two month absence from this blog, last reporting from Hanoi in February, indicates our recent gains but also losses. In the heartbreaking development that every Gia đình (family) faces but can’t quite prepare for, ours bid adieu to our great matriarch Louise Teresa Wrobel Tootalian on Valentines Day, February 14th, 2024, when my Mom passed into the world of the spirit. While initially strengthened by our well of spiritual work and understanding, releasing the past and letting go of Louise hit the dimmer switch on our off-season, turning it into a bit of a long, cold, lonely Winter.

Good memories of the forever loved and lovely Lulu considered, that ice is slowly melting, and with the return of spring and the sun, the smile’s indeed returning to our faces. In fact, the sun’s encouraging light — or lack thereof — brought a special blessing our way with the recent Total Solar Eclipse, occurring on April 8th, marking my date of birth and end of my 57th year around the G-type, yellow dwarf whose gravity holds our solar system together as a great time of personal transformation. My dog RoZie and I enjoyed a life-changing Walkie through downtown Indianapolis, Indiana, USA, on the path of totality for over 3 1/2 minutes, the intense experience making us official Umbraphile eclipse chasers and skywatchers for life. While I’m not sure RoZie will be by my side reporting from western Iceland in 2026, she will most certainly be sniffing about our new practice platform on the partial Lunar Eclipse occurring September 17th-18th, as we’ll be acquiring a Higher Haven telescope for dark sky events and some new, high-aiming offerings.

For now, we were happy to be back in Ceremony this weekend as we will be monthly, having just enjoyed the great April crew that came through.. You can also consider easing into some deeper inner work by joining our first 2024 Noble Silence Meditation Retreat Weekend from this Friday, May 3rd to Sunday May 5th. Knowing just how challenging it currently is out there, we’ll then be offering our signature Meditation + Mindfulness 101 class on Saturday, May 11th, and in honor of my Mom and Mother’s Day weekend, anyone who registers can bring their Mom as our very special guest. And a registered Mom can bring her kids. So come on out and pound the planks pictured above with RoZie Grrl, walk our magical, wild woods, and watch for some new, summer retreat gatherings specifically for men and women, plans we’re currently finalizing. More information in this healing space soon, Until Then, Toksha

On Being a Lil' Hà Nôi 'd

On Being a Lil' Hà Nôi 'd

The title of this post is a play on the fact that I spent Vietnamese New Year’s eve in Hanoi with my friend Tuan. A bit of a meandering travelogue follows, going from the streets of Mai Chau North of Hanoi a couple years back to this year’s Holiday meal and New Year’s Day tranquil Temple visits. You may be a Lil Hà Nõi’d being forced to motorbike down the backstreets of the old quarter with us, especially if you’re one of the many who’ve been eager and communicative about looking for tickets or registration availability once we resume retreats and classes this spring. All that said, our Spring scheduling has just begun to bud, with our Signature Meditation + Mindfulness 101 class triumphantly kicking off the Spring season, bringing us back to life on Saturday, March 23rd. A week later, a powerful new offering for graduates of that class, other former 101 attendees and really anyone with an established practice looking for a great day-long retreat can leap into the deep end of the stillness pool at our new Meditation 102, a day of deep practice and contemplation of true nature. Our first 2024 Spring Noble Silence Meditation Retreat (NSMR) weekend was moved out to the first weekend in May, Friday, May 3rd through Sunday May 5th. And our great Ceremonial healing weekend The Way of the Contrary inipi Ceremony returns like a spring thunderstorm the final weekend of April. For now, we’re still relishing our own renewal time, so let’s go back to Vietnam, and for those who want to hang on tight and join us in learning how to replenish oneself on retreat to regain renewed spiritual strength, read on. Either way, we’ll see you soon and look forward to it. Chao Tam Biet for now.

“Where you from? Where are you FROMMM?” This was the throaty question of the day, or the weekend rather, from the folks encountered in the northern Vietnam city of Hà Nôi, the country’s capital and second largest city by population. “The United States,” I’d answer enthusiastically, “America”, knowing how crazy curious the good Viet kids are about the country they strangely call Mỹ. They’d all gather around as I drew a quick map of the U.S., encircling earth’s largest geographical mitten. “I’m from Michigan,” I’d explain, my home state being clearly decipherable on a rough outline of the states. “Ohhh Mitchigan,” they’d chorus. “Vang (yes). And where are you all from?,” I’d kid them.“We are from Vietnam!” (hi hi laughter all around). In the past post, I recounted good times adventuring with my ban, my good friend, in the south and Vietnam’s central coast. But if a table of contents existed to the story of my love affair with VN, Phuc wouldn’t show up until Chapter Two. The opening scene would then center on another character – my American friend Aaron James Everhart –Advertising Executive, entrepreneur and Hà Nôi resident since 2005.

Allow me first to take a few steps back, back up the street of Nguyen Dinh Chieu, and explain what brought me to Vietnam in the first place. Prior to my first life-altering jaunt to southeast Asia in December 2007, I’d been the student of a powerful Native American Healer and Medicine Man. In life, we tend to become the person others see us as. But when you’re unseen, when you’re a ghost in the midst of your own people and a little haunted, you’re fairly content being a nothing and becoming no one. Even if you’re born with a ton of talent, that doesn’t matter and in fact makes it all worse, as talented, unsuccessful people in our world are practically proverbs. I was on the road to nowhere, and, like many, life for me was turning out to be nothing but a veil of tears. Fortunately, an Indian Chief saw me, and when he saw me, he really saw me. From the first time I shook his hand, connecting with a real spiritual teacher, the road I was on abruptly ended, and a new road began. Almost two decades later, with many twists and turns, I’m still trudging that same road. And although challenging on a daily basis, I wouldn’t have it any other way, as it’s a life that gets better and better with time, slowly but surely leading to a happiness beyond my own imagining.

My Chief was the love of my life for seven years, a time during which he introduced me to his sacred, Ceremonial way of living. I didn’t care about a whole lot then other than ending my psychic pain, spending extended time on the reservation learning and doing Ceremony. After a few years, I experienced a Hanblecheya Ceremony, a vision quest, Hanble in his language meaning a dream or a vision, and Cheya meaning to cry, hence Crying for a Vision. Going on the Hill as they call it is a four-day Ceremony where one is isolated in the wilderness with no food and no water. Orchestrating this near-death experience and dissolution of the ego helps resolve one’s understanding of what death truly is, and can provide a glimpse forward or back, into one’s own future or past. On one of my own Hanblechas with Phil, one of the visions I experienced clearly pointed me toward the country of Vietnam. The Chief, being a robust, authentic Shaman, suffered many of the health problems of the rough and tumble Native world, being a smoker, former alcoholic and victim of fetal alcohol syndrome. He suffered a stroke in the summer of 2005, and in January 2006 took an untimely, early departure for the World of the Spirit. He was the world to me as well as the world to come for those seven years and then he was gone, and I refer to the period in my life afterward as my Great Attempt To Return to Civilization period. In retrospect, however, there wasn’t anything great about it; not knowing what to do next, I moved from the American Southwest to San Francisco and did my best to return to my former life as an ad copywriter, roughly from the years 2006-2010.

At that time, Aaron James Everheart serendipitously entered the scene. I did a gig for a graphic design firm, the owner of which had recently returned from a whirlwind tour through Vietnam. Back to semi-stumbling my way through life, I remembered my vision and was all ears and questions. “The whole trip was inspired by a buddy who lives in Hà Nôi and works for Grey Advertising,” he explained. “He’s a good guy, I’ll give you his e-mail.” And the rest, as they say, is lich sú (history). Aaron’s generous response blew me away. He told me where to go, who to contact and what to do, i.e., “Take the overnight train to Sapa and stay at the Dutch Eco Lodge.” Sapa lies in the country’s northern mountains, a hamlet filled with colorful examples of the 54 minority group that populate the country. The district is one of the few in VN where Hmong people compose the majority, followed by the Yao, Kinh, Tay, Day and Xa Pho. If you’ll recall, a traditional healer of a North American tribe set me on the road that really leads somewhere. My thoughts go back to walking those mounatinous dirt roads for the first time absolutely elated, and on two subsequent trips I lined up home stays, even allowed to attend and experience the healing Ceremonies of Red Szao Shamans. A bunch of other weird, wonderful occurrences while there confirmed my spiritual growth would continue, as it has on this trip and does to this very day. Like the Phuc tale below, this story was originally written on my 2019 visit to Vietnam, so let this brief mid-story edit inform you I just left Aaron after closing out my 2024 trip on the beaches of Vietnam’s pristine central coast, with a couple nights spent with Aaron in Danang and Hoi An, as well as a final night looking out over the twinkling lights of the squid fishing boats on a cliff out on the Sontra Sun Peninsula.

Back in 2019, I hadn’t talked to Aaron since the racaous, citywide party that had been Hà Nôi’s 1,000 year birthday celebration in 2010. But I’m happy to report that after all these years, he’s as generous with his friendship and knowledge of Vietnam as he was from the start. Funny that he admittedly paces himself, in his words replying to digital messages at the swiftness of postal mail, which is certainly appropriate for a former Hà Nôi resident. When we finally did cross paths in 2019, we of course went for street food, meeting up at the intersection of Hang Bong and Phuc Duan streets. The food on that very corner is of the caliber that can still call to the Spirit of Anthony Bourdain, who said of Vietnam: “It grabs you and it doesn’t let you go. Once you love it, you love it Forever.” True Thật. As an aside, check out Bourdain’s Vietnam:There’s No Place Like Home, a title I can certainly relate to. It that wasn’t cool enough, Aaron invited me to his place later in the weekend and whipped up Fire Cracker Pork Fusilli, nothing delighting like a home-cooked meal when you’re 7,982 miles away. We explored some night life — something I rarely do and thoroughly enjoyed- and of course had some laughs.

I’ll always recall Aaron first conveying Ha noi’s mystique- the exotic, echoing car horn, the slant of the moonlight, the mysterious fog that shrouds the city. The joke that trip was that it’s actually not romantic fog — it’s pollution. It really is. Hanging in Hà Nôi previously almost always led to flu-like symptoms, and I simply chalked it up to the miles traveled, the lack of sleep, the hustle to the other side of the world. But in 2019, just walking across town bloodied my eyes, scratched my throat raw and gave me a hacking cough, like I’d been sucking on motorbike exhaust, which I’d indirectly been doing. Even that couldn’t completely dissipate the towns’ old-world charm. I still love it, and its congestion and lack of emission standards can’t kill the fact that it’s one of the coolest towns in Vietnam if not the entire world. Aaron’s now a Danang resident, but I had the great pleasure and honor this year to enjoy some last minute traditional Tet celebrations north of Hanoi with the family of Tuan Phan otherwise known as Alex hi, hi, a friendship I rekindled during my brief stay in Hanoi on my Hańh Triñh Lãm Lañ, my healing journey during last yer’s Tet,taking us into the mountains even further north, reporting from the White Tay village of Mai Chau.

Which brings us around full circle back down to Hoan Kiem Lake, where Tuan and I spent a crazy (díén) Friday night New Year’s Dragon Eve, complete with the crush of huge crowds on the Hanoi streets and fireworks above. Back to to the good Viet kids and amusing exchanges that opened this story. Lake of the Restored Sword is a fresh body of water in the historical center of the town, one of the city’s major scenic spots and focal point of its public life. Older folks practice Tai Chi, con gais (girls) folk dance, kids rip skateboarding ollies and play a game called Da Cãu, kicking the Trái Cáu, a feathered, Vietnamese version of America’s Hacky Sack, all adding to the lake’s vibrant scene.

Back in 2019, I took my jump rope and walked about, a big, bearded American guy leaping around being a funny addition to the mix. That visit there was also a wonderful new development, as at least a half-dozen young women approached me, each with a group of children ages six to about twelve. “May my students practice their English with you?”, the con gais would eagerly ask. I was psyched, because I’m good with kids and good with English and so adore the Vietnamese people, I couldn’t have orchestrated a more heartening scenario. I asked them their name, their age, and how many brothers and sisters they had. They in turn wanted to know where I was from, what sports I liked and how old I was. One boy named Tuan was so sweet, when I told him, “I am old, I am fifty-one!”, which I was at the time, he responded: “You’re not old, you are young! And you are funny and you are smart!” I didn’t think seeing a big American man cry would behoove Tuan’s learning, so I feigned blowing my nose, and sent him on his way, telling him, “You’re one of the best English speakers I’ve met all day,” because every child in this world is special and deserves that kind of edification. This year I was even happier to establish a nice connect with Tuan’s oldest daughter Giang, who’s quite bright and wants to better her English, and in exchange will help me forward my Vietnamese. “Come to Vietnam for three months Tuan tells me”, saying it in a thick Vietnamese accent so it sounds like “Tree Musts”, pointing three-pronged fingers at me like Shiva’s Trishula, “And you will speak the good Vietnamese.” (Buddha smile)

There you have it. That’s why every time I grab my bags at Tan Son Nhat International Airport in Saigon, happy they safely made the journey with me, knowing I’m about to see the smiling  faces of my Gia dinh that su cua tôi (true family members), I can’t help but yell “Toi eu Viet nam! Toi eu Viet nam” (I love Viet nam! I love Vietnam!) because of what Vietnam has meant to me. And the people always laugh a little, and I always cry a little, in a good way, just like I did for that vision long ago, the one that brought me here in the first place, will always bring me back, and revealed to me that Vè tinh thân, tôi la nguõi Vięt Nam, that in the Spirit, I am Vietnamese. Hẹn sớm gặp lạii (see you soon) Chao tam biet (Later).